One could add to the list of expectations, a willingness to replace fantasy with "real people" in relationships, when they "need" you. One could revert to an old idea, that the ability to keep an intimate relationship and not run from it, based on gazing eyes, when the other partner runs into hardship, whether disease or actual conflict, is itself a character marker.
Let's add, there's a real debate in progressive circles (like on some pieces on Vox Media): does giving people money or taking them in (for shelter) help them? Some say it really does and that allowing some expropriation is a moral obligation out of karma (whether that's based in a specific faith or not). Other's say people should help themselves, that we have a meritocracy. No, I don't like the idea of being the backup when others fail. The "free ride" problem has flip sides. The compromise seems to have to do with engaging others personally in ways that might have been unwelcome in the past. Paul Rosenfels (whom I've written about a lot elsewhere) would have called this really "creative." But it's really action, not talk.
I do get the idea of not wanting to make someone whom I see as "flawed' seem "all right", But a desire to be kept away from that, if evident to others, may set a bad example (if I'm responsible for the influence of my "example"). Religious fundamentalism makes it easy to stay away from the "not desirable" (again, as Army buddies understood this). There is a slippery slope, or elevation decline, from personal aloofness to eventual authoritarianism, sometimes with its most horrific eventual practices. This separation -- from forgiveness and solidarity -- can also lead to someone's paying for the crimes of his attacker. It's just as real as if he had committed them himself, and it gets ugly. No one wants to play Job.
Before 2000, I hadn't had to process external "threats" much since, say, college and Army days. Since 9/11, and recently, as some kinds of crime have become more brazen and possibly politically motivated, In the asymmetric, Internet age the "making enemies" issue (along with "chilling effects") has taken on a potentially personal aspect that seems historically unprecedented. I've had to think about it more, as part of a bigger picture, given my "karma". I am somewhat in a moral Goldilocks zone. It's like living in the "Twilight Zone" of a tidally-locked planet with less free life on both the day and night sides making claims. There are more than two sides to most arguments.
There's more on the endpoint of this on Wordpress, here. True, the idea of "victim" doesn't work for me. You still are what you are.